(Picture: from http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/love-sex/69342676/Do-polyamorous-relationships-actually-make-for-a-better-life)
Some of you may or may not be aware or have knowledge about this subject so first I will tell you what polyamory is to save you a bit of googling.
Polyamory is when there is a relationship with two people who are in a relationship with one or more people. There could be three in a relationship or even four and more and everyone just seems cool in it. Some couples or some individuals believe they have a lot of love to give and don't believe that a relationship shouldn't stop at just two people. There is so much information on this these days that I just can't absorb it all at once.
First, here is my story before I go onto my personal opinions, which I will discuss later in this blog.
Back in around 2011 I used to perform at local open mic nights at a typical small bar in a small country town. I saw this duo from out of town come down and play a set of cover songs. The duo consisted of a female guitarist/ vocalist and a male bass guitarist. I ended up be-friending the Female guitarist and we hit it off quite well. We ended up being really close friends. I then had a huge crush on her and kind of swept it under the rug because I found out that very first night she was married.
I then found out that she was bi-sexual and over a deep and meaningful conversation on Facebook she was explaining about polyamory, etc. I had no idea what this was and thought that relationships could only stop at just two people. But she believed otherwise. I found out she too had a crush on me and without me looking into this further I ended up being in a relationship with her and her husband.
But this didn't last long. After only three long months I ended this. None of this felt right for me and I just carried on living my life as normal, whichever normal really was. I agreed to still be close friends with her. Later on I decided to try doing casual threesomes with her and her husband. But she somehow had the idea that we were back together. But we weren't.
I then ended up in a relationship with my boyfriend, whom I have been in a long term monogamous relationship for over a year now. My first long term relationship in almost 6 years. I love this man. He understands me, listens to me, always there for me, faithful, loving, kind and everything I need in a person. The woman I was once in a poly relationship with didn't seem to respect this and did not back off when I needed her to. She tried to make moves on me like it was OK and was still convinced we were back together. But we weren't. I ended up ending this friendship with both her and her husband.
This is what I really think of Polyamory.
Agree or disagree I feel that this glorifies cheating. making it OK to cross the line. The reason why not everybody goes down this road is because it causes so much trouble and like many things can cause many friendships and relationships to fail. I find it confusing and confronting and I think society still can see it this way. I am not completely against this because you can't control what someone is into. I know I'll have friends who are in relationships and are into this. But with me here is the golden rule. If you are in any way poly please don't get people whom have no idea or not into it involved. This is one of the reasons why poly can ruin certain things.
My Reflection
The poly relationship I was in was with someone who had very mixed up views on relationships and her husband was just going along for the ride. Her friends also by accepting what she was telling them. The couple I was seeing wasn't just married. They were much older than I am, which seemed to make the problem slightly bigger. It was all good and well at the start. But it justified what I am really into. I stopped this friendship to protect my relationship between my boyfriend and protect myself so I don't fall into anymore vulnerable situations.. I wanted to keep things stable and sustainable and not cloud it by anybody Else's influence. I finally took charge of the situation. I learned something about myself here. I am not one of these people. I am not poly. It has just becomes another thing you learn about whether you can tolerate it or not.
Polyamory isn't for everybody.
