What I honestly think of myself.

I haven’t had much to write about lately because I had a car accident shortly after I broke up with my X B/F. It’s cool though because I came out mostly unscathed and had been compensated. Now I have no vehicle and not enough independence I can’t experience life like I used to So I constantly re-evaluate myself as a person. It’s a catch 22 because there is always going to be an upside and downside to it all among st other things in this life.

First, The Downsides:

• I have anxiety and depression, which is a lot of baggage for many people. It’s crazy because there are people who don’t seem to want to stick around. They feel they have to deal with it just by being there. But the I wonder ‘for how long?’ You see people always want to take the easy way out to make their lives easier. I am guilty of it because I sometimes want to escape myself. Therefore sometimes I do feel alone despite who is left to stick around.
• I sometimes beat myself up because I sometimes do things that I regret. It makes me feel like people have got the wrong impression of me all the time and I am always constantly feeling like I have to prove myself. I try my best not to worry about what others think of me. But it’s hard because all I ever wanted was to be more accepted.
• I sometimes have body issues, But who doesn’t. I accept what I can’t change.
• I sometimes trust too easily therefore I hurt myself because I still have a lot to learn about life.

The Upsides:

• I try to think of my good personality traits that make some people can or may benefit from. I do see myself as a kind, caring, compassionate person who is funny when they don’t mean to be funny and does the best they can to be anyone’s confidant. If I listed anymore I’d be labeled egotistical.
• Then I think of my favorite body parts...well the parts that are attached to me. I feel fortunate to have a nice face and that I have lost weight. I like my hands, my arms. Those are my favorites.
• Then I look at the things I can do. I can sing, songwriting, play guitar, Be a great radio DJ. Those are the things that make me feel good.
• I then finally look at what I have. I may not have a car or a partner in my life. But I do have my job, my family and even a few friends I have kept in what is left in my friend circle.

So Me, myself and I. We don’t always get along. But this is another great form of unconditional love. When I am happy I love myself better. When I am sad I even distance myself from myself including others. I guess you could say it was more of love/hate relationship. After all the blogs I have shared with you may think that you feel like know me already. But even I have a lot to learn about myself and that is a lesson you never stop learning.